Tips for Talking Money with Your Honey
It’s no secret that financial problems are one of the top reasons couples break up or get divorced. We have all seen the headlines and statistics about finances causing fights, divorces, tension, etc. Whether we like it or not, money matters when it comes to entering a committed relationship. No matter how healthy your relationship is, encountering financial issues can lead to serious problems.
Finances can feel like a taboo, off-limits subject that is to be avoided, but if you truly can talk about anything with your partner, you can talk about money. According to a 2018 survey by Ramsey Solutions, 94% of respondents who say they have a great marriage said they discuss their financial goals with their spouse, and 87% of happily married couples say they work together to set long-term financial goals. While these discussions can feel scary, they will ultimately benefit your relationship in the long-run. Here are a few pieces of advice to help you get started talking money with your honey:
You are already taking the step to sit down and have these discussions, hiding things from your partner or being dishonest will pretty much make the conversation useless. Be upfront about the financial situation you are in currently. Tell them your past mistakes, what your flaws are financially, financial habits or situations that make you nervous or uncomfortable, and what exactly your relationship to spending is.
Recognize your differences.
Odds are you and your partner aren’t on the same page about everything when it comes to money, and that’s okay! Talking about and respecting these differences will help you two understand each other more. One of you might save every penny, whereas the other person might be a little more liberal with their purchases. It is important to try to put yourself in the other person's shoes and honor the fact that you two have different histories and habits when it comes to finances.
Set your goals.
Financial goals are important for anyone to set, but setting some financial goals you can achieve together will help you two move forward in the same direction. Define some things you would like to work towards as a unit. Do you two want to make a major purchase like a house or car? How much would you like to be saving every year? Having mutual goals will also provide more accountability and help you stick to your goals.
Keep the conversation going.
Try not to make these financial discussions a one-and-done thing. Make it a goal to check in regularly with your partner about how they are doing and if you are meeting your goals. Touch base about how much money is coming in and going out on a regular basis, that way there are no surprises. The more you have these conversations, the less stressful it will become.
Disagreements regarding money are bound to happen from time to time, but having an open dialogue with your partner will give you the tools to have these tough talks and come out stronger on the other side. Just like any situation in your relationship, empathy is key. You are both different people with different relationships to money, and by being open about finances you can be stronger together.
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